Posts Tagged Jesus
It is May 22, a day some did not believe they would see, and in reality, some didn’t. Yesterday was the last day in this world for someone, somewhere. There were a number of people preparing for yesterday to be their last, and because it wasn’t they now have time to make some adjustments, or so they assume. Like Harold Camping, we think we know, but instead our confidence is more likely it will not be today. We all assume, but we do not know the number of our days.
A few years ago when my world nearly ended in an instant, in a single moment, my assumptions were confronted. Not that I would want to relive it, that confrontation did have a benefit. I am no longer arrogant to assume that I have anything more than today. No, I don’t take unnecessary risks for the adrenaline rush, daily rewrite my bucket list, or live for myself out of some egocentric idea that this is all there is anyway. However, it made me settle a few things, even those things I thought I already had. Everything was on the table for evaluation—it was not the time for wishful thinking or cliché living, which makes you feel better without addressing the real questions. As for me, most were again answered in Christ and those still unanswered rest in eternal hope.
If you have spent even a millisecond in the abyss of Why? What then? What if? then you are familiar with the deeper things simmering in the soul. If left unsettled or unasked, we begin to think the important stuff is material, experiential, unlinked to the cavernous void we try to fill, or that we mock. Sure, we can scoff at Camping and his followers, which feeds our sense of superiority for just a minute, but a passing smirk or sarcastic chuckle doesn’t abate the questions. I am not excusing Mr. Camping and his responsibility in all the hype; I believe the individual is responsible for their own choices. Some are too easily led astray, some are too arrogant to ponder the questions, and some are not paying attention at all.
If there is anything positive we can take away from the May 21, 2011 End of the World stuff this week, it is the reminder to prepare. Don’t wait for a near death experience, a sudden loss, or the next end of the world prophecy to seek the answers to lingering questions—that creates too much pressure to come up with quick answers. Take the time to prepare your soul for the day your time here ends (which is more likely to come before the Second Coming) and prepare your heart to receive each day as a gift until that time arrives.
Lord, here I am at your feet…again. I am disappointed, awash with regret. The old overtakes the new just when I least expect it. Old patterns, old voices…all the things I gladly left behind. I feel defeated when I fail even though Your word says otherwise. Oh, please forgive me.
My insecurities obscure truth like cobwebs over treasures in an attic. The treasure is there, at least I want to believe it is, but how will it ever be revealed so long as I wallow in this perpetual state of desperation? I want to be well; I want to be healed, if I could just be closer to You.
I am tired of being manipulated by unhealed hurts, the fear of pain’s return. Is there some secret to filling the void and keeping my soul at peace when the temporal seems to overwhelm the eternal? I’ve been here before; I thought I was done dealing with this. How do I draw close enough to You that the rest melts away? What can I do or say to manifest Your presence more in my life?
Child, your questions were answered in “Lord, here I am at your feet”. It is the best place you can be, not your last resort.
Not sure what it is about revelation coming in the bathroom, but I could hardly shower fast enough as this conversation played out in my head and heart, wanting to write it down before it vanished like the water at the drain. It was as though the Lord dropped this in my spirit as a follow-up to the scripture we read last night in Mark 6:55-56 They ran through that whole region and carried the sick on mats to wherever they heard he was. And wherever he went—into villages, towns or countryside—they placed the sick in the marketplaces. They begged him to let them touch even the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.
I could not help but think about those that pursued him for healing vs. those that must have remained at the city gate, resolved to remain as they were. Healing has never just happened in my life, it has always manifested through pursuit. At times, it has felt like I’ve traversed vast regions to touch the hem of his garment, other times it was but a breath away. I do not understand the paradox of its timing, only that it takes place at His feet.